Pain and Torment
by TheHappyLol
Summary: While out on a trip to get food for the gang, Sydney gets attacked by Strigois and gets kidnapped by them. The Strigois takes her to their underground base. There they will torment here. Make her feel pain. Five years later Rose,Eddie and Dimitri finds a underground Strigoi base. They notice a door, they open it but what they see in that room will shock them. Full summary inside :P
1. Prologue

**Pain and Torment**

_While out on a trip to get food for the gang, Sydney gets attacked by Strigois and gets kidnapped by them. The Strigois takes her to their underground base and looks her into a room. There they will torment here. Make her feel pain. Five years later Rose,Eddie and Dimitri and other guardians finds a underground Strigoi base. When the Strigois are dead they notice a door with a big heavy lock on and chains on it. Dimitri of course is able to break the lock and chains but what they see in that room will shock them._

I have dreamt of this idea a several times so I decided to make a story of it :P

**Prologue**

_Adrian - Extra big burger with cheeze, big french fries and coca cola._

_Jill - 8 Chicken nuggets, medium french fries and sprite (soda. not alcohol)_

_Eddie - Big burger with bacon and sausage, medium but extra french fries and fanta with taste of lemon._

_Angeline - Chicken nuggets and cheeze burger, big french fries and a big coca cola._

_Dimitri - Big burger but with extra pickles, two big french fries and a big coca cola zero._

Wow these guys really have a big appetite. I promise I would never have eaten this they wanted me to buy for them.

How was I even being able to carry all of this they wanted?

They really dont have a normal appetite especially Dimitri who wanted a big burger with pickles, two big french fries and a big coca cola zero. It seemed that Jill was the only one of them expect me with a normal appetite.

When I offered to go and buy food for them I didnt knew that they wanted all of this stuff. I almost regret it now.

They shouldnt eat this kind of food. It has alot of bad stuff in it and it's bad for their bodies. They love this kind of food but I dont blame them. They choose whatever they like to eat, that's nothing I can change in their mind.

I was driving in my car named latte. Latte is a very beautiful car. Adrians car Ivashkinator (?) was also a very beautiful car. I love both the cars, Latte and Ivashkinator.

If it was possible I would have made Latte and Ivashkinator get a baby car. It sounds crazy I know but my mind is crazy about cars as If you didnt already I know.

I even want to kiss the cars. Especieally Ivashkinator. That was my impression when I first saw Ivashkinator.

Dont tell this to anyone but I actually kissed his car when no one saw. Cant help it. It was a beautiful car so yeah.

While driving to Burger King I listened to music on the radio.

There was a good song now playing. I didnt know the name of the song but when I heard the song I knew it was really good.

The lyrisc of the song was really good.

Some of it remembered me about me and Adrian actually, at that time when he had kissed me for the first time and I left.

I even sang along with the song. Dont tell them I sang along to a song! I dont want them to know that I secretly sing in my car while listening to music, like this one but there was two parts of the song, two parts of the lyrisc that I really liked. That I sang over and over again

"_You hold the answers deep within your own mind. _

_Consciously, you've forgotten it._

_That's the way the human mind works._

_Whenever something is too unpleasant, to shameful for us_

_to entertain, we reject it._

_We erase it from our memories._

_But the imprint is always there._" I sang while drumming my fingers on the steering wheel.

I continued to sing on the second part of the song that I liked but I loked most the one with the more text in it.

"_We're supposed to try and be real._

_And I feel alone, and we're not together. And that is real_."

I continued to sing, different kind of songs but I stopped singing when I arrived at Burger King, parking Latte on one of the parking places that was just some meters from the entrance to Burger king.

When I stepped into Burger King I immediately felt the smell of meat and french fries reach my nose.

I told myself that I would not hold my nose, to stop smelling the disgusting smell. It wasnt really smelling disgusting. These kind of places was just smelling bad, maybe a little disgusting.

I stood in the queue (?), waiting and waiting. There was alot of people in this place and atleast ten people, all human was standing infront of me.

It took sometime until it was my time to order. I could hear the people infront of me ordering alot of these not healty stuff and soda, with alot of callories.

I just sighed and shook my head at them, so they didnt notice atleast as I know.

When It was my turn to order (finally) I gave the cashier (or whatever you call the one taking orders. Sorry xD) the list with all things the gang wanted.

I didnt want to read it all up because there was alot of stuff to order especially with Dimitris big appetite.

When I gave the cashier the list she looked at my strangely. I rolled my eyes at her. She was probably thinking that I ordered it all for myself.

"Its not all for myself. Its for my friends" I told her and I saw her face lighten up a little, I heard her sigh and shook her head. Just as I had done when my friends, the gang had told me what they had wanted.

It took awhile, a few minutes until it was all done and somehow I managed to carry it out in one big pile in my arms.

Walking slowly so I wouldnt drop anything cause that would be a problem because then I had to bend over to pick it up and then I will drop the other stuff because I need one hand to pick it up.

When I arrived at my car I opened one of the car doors with my foot. Yes I opened the car door with my foot. Im that awesome.

When the left backseat car door was open I put all the food on the seats of the backseats. I even organized all of the food, just like tetris so everything would fit into the backseats.

The burgers and Jills chicken nuggets was on the right backseat, the sodas on the middle backseat and that means of course the french fries was on the left backseat.

Without anyone noticing I took one french frie and I ate it. Scolded myself for doing that but I was hungry.

I should have ordered something, like a sallad for myself but I had no time to do that now. I had to get to Adrians apartment, the place they all were in now, waiting for me to bring them food.

I closed the open car door and licked my lips, there was a little bit salt on my lips left after that french frie I ate.

I was just going to open the front right car door and sit down in the driver seat when I felt a hand on my shoulder.

The hand on my shoulder scared the shit out of me, the hand was cold so it could only mean one thing, strigoi.

I swirled around just to see a striogi standing infront of me with other strigois behind him.

I had no time to register when the strigoi infront of me punched my in the face. I feel to the ground and landed on my butt.

I glared up at the strigoi and quickly rised up, backing away from the strigoi that had a wicked grin on his lips wich was revealing his fangs, so I could see them and that just scared more the shit out of me.

I conjured a fireball in my hands and shot it right at the strigois.

They ducked and my fireball missed them. I shot another fireball at them and it hit one of the strigois in the chest.

The strigoi that I had shoot in the chest with a fireball swore high, screaming while trying to put out the flames.

"Go away!" I screamed at the strigois, backing a few steps but they just took steps closer to me.

"No alchemist. We wont" the strigoi that had punched me said, smiling wicked and took closer steps to me. Coming closer and closer.

"Get away!" I scream and turn around, starting to run as fast as I can. I can hear the strigois run behind me and I kept running but it was to no use. The strigoi that had punched me catched me, holding me in his arms, my back pressed against his body, him whispering in my ear.

"Dont get so scared little alchemist. We wont hurt you or will we?" He whispered in my ear and laughed evily. He started to drag me away but I didnt know where. I was struggling but he was holding me tight. I couldnt get free from his grip.

I dont know for how long I kept struggling and for how long the strigoi continued to drag me away but I knew that nothing could prepare me for the pain that I soon would endure.


	2. Chapter 1

**A short little An :P : **Thank you all for the follows and reviews. Thank you! :D And to Cherryslush: The thing you wrote last in your review. I have no idea x) Im swedish so my english may suck at sometimes xD :c

And check out this song. I think it fits perfect under Sydneys time being captured by the strigois and I used some of the lyrisc inside of this chapter. The song is truly amazing. You should really check it out at  watch?v=kwbIkzDVVFQ and you should also check out Ehlymana. She's doing a super good story :) Without her I wouldnt have written this so thank you Ehlymana :3

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**Chapter 1**

**Sydney POV**

_5 years later ;C ( No Sydrian in five years D: )_

Pain. That was all I was feelings these days. Pain flowing trough my veins, flowing trough my body.

Pain everywhere and I tried so many times to kill the pain going trough my body but everytime I tried to kill the pain that I was feeling the strigois brought me more pain by cutting me in my arms and god know where else. So trying to kill my pain pretty useless to me now when the strigois would only bring me more pain.

Pain that is more painful than the pain before that.

The pain just gets worse for everyday that passes by and if you add five years and the days within those five years adds up to more than one thousands days of pain and that really hurts. More than thousands days of pain.

Though I dont understand how I was able to survive trough this pain. I dont know how my body, how my soul was bearing with the pain the strigois put me trough everyday.

I cry everyday when they dont see me. Though when they are not near I still cry but not on the outside. Everytime they bring a knife to cut me or sometimes maybe a gun to shoot me in my legs and god know where else my soul cries on the inside because I wont show them that I feel the pain.

I know that the strigois like what they are doing to me and when they see me crying out in pain they just cuts me more because of the satisfaction they get when they hurt me, when they hurt my soul. I see that in their blood eyes when they watch me, when they watch my blood flowing out of my body, trough the cuts they made.

Before I came here. More than five years before I came here I knew that they are heartless creatures that shouldnt exist on this earth. They dont deserve to walk on this peaceful earth with the pain they makes humans, like me go trough. Me many years before had always feared them. I had always tried to stay away from strigois expect when I took away their bodies in russia _someone_ had left on the streets as if they were strigoi barbecue. I think that was six years ago.

But though I never knew they were this heartless as they were to me. I always though that they killed their pray and drinked their blood for the kick they get from drinking blod but when I got kidnapped I found out there is something some strigois loves more than blood.

Pain. Some strigois likes pain more than blood to drink. They dont like pain though but they like to watch their pray in pain. To torture them so they can see their pain. Some strigois gets a satisfaction from seing humans in pain.

Those strigoi that had captured me five years ago on a parking lot was one of those kind of strigois. Those who liked pain but didnt kill.

They had caused me so much pain and it seemed that they will keep me in here forever but I realised that when they first brought me here and started the pain five years ago, when I was still the person that I was five years ago.

- _Flashback -_

_All I could see was black but that was because they had put a blindfold infront of my eyes. I guessed it was because so I couldnt see were they was leading me but I knew whereever they were taking me I knew it was something bad._

_I was sitting in a car with my hands tied behind my back with chains so I couldnt use magic to free myself from them while they were busy driving. They knew I was a witch and they knew that I could use fireballs._

_I knew that they were afraid of fire. Because fire is one of three ways to kill a strigois and that was one of the main things they had tied my hands behind my back expect preventing me to use magic because they didnt want to let me go._

_I dont know what they want from me but I know it's something that is not good. I dont even know why they did this in the first play._

_Strigois are suppoused to be heartless creatures. Strigois are heartless and just likes to kill and drink blood. I have never heard anything like this happening before. I've never heard of strigois kidnapping people but so this must something knew they are testing out?_

_What was they going to do to me? Kill me? Drink from me? Make me a bloodwhore? Please not let it be the third. I really dont want them drinking from me and having their body over mine at the same time. I really dont want that but I guessed they were going to just kill me. That's who they are. Strigois that kill and doesnt feel a thing for feelings expect satisfaction and their feeling for evil._

_I could hear the two strigois in the front seats talking to eachother. _

_I couldnt hear them talking because of the blindfold blocking some parts of my ears but I could hear one word they said. One word that sent me shiwering trough my body._

_The word that I had heard was ´pain´. Are they talking about pain? Why are they talking about that if Im right?_

_"What are you talking about?" I asked those two sitting and talking and driving in the frontseats._

_I shiwered coldly trough my body when I felt one of thems eyes on me though I couldnt see them watching me I knew because I could feel it. Dont ask me how but I just could. Whenever a strigoi was watching me, cold shiwers goes trough my body._

_"Somewhere they will never find you" said one of the strigois sitting in the car. Answering for the strigoi that was watching me from the frontseat._

_When I heard them say the word ´they´ I directly got to think about Adrian and the others. Adrian and his so soft kisses. Jill and her adorable laugh. Eddie and his annoying feeling not to tell Jill how he feels about her. Angeline and her still problem with the caps lock and Dimitris big appetite with burgers and fries and pickles._

_Did they know I was gone? They had to know because I never returned with their food that was probably now laying all smashed together on the parking lot near Burger King. Beside my latte. My car. My latte car. My beautiful car. _

_How would they react? How would Adrian react when they find out that I never returned with their food? The food that I wanted to bring back to them. The food that I wanted to complain about, that food that is bad for their body. _

_Am I going to ever see them again? Am I ever going to see Adrian again and kiss those soft lips of his but that became pretty clear when we got to the place they were taking me. _

_- End of flashback -_

I sighed a little quietly while scratching on one of my scars on my arm. I had alot of scars on my body. More than I could count but it was atleast more than 50 because they had cutted me more than 50 times and everytime I get a cut, either in my arms or in my legs or somewhere else I always get a scar on my body so yeah. There was scars all over my body but most on my arms and legs after the cuts they made with all kinds of knifes_. _Mybody was covered in scars, my skin didnt look like it used to be five years ago.

My skin color was much paler, so pale it almost looked like the same color moroi have and my skin is like that because I havnt been out in the sun in fie years. The strigois wouldnt let me go out in the sun, they just keept me locked in, in this room I hadnt get out from in five years.

But I knew the reason why they wouldnt let me out in the sun. They are strigoi and they cant be in they sun or they die. If they would have let me out in the sun I would have run away and they wouldnt be able to run after me because they are striogi or they would die, burning up in the rays of the sun.

**(This will be a little bit short now because I had written alot after this but then all of sudden my computer shut down by itself so that long part I had written after this disappeared and I raged so much and almost threw popcorn all over the place. But I did keep a part of what I had written so I will jump straight to when rose and them finds her because I didnt want to write the long part all over again. I hope it still will be good :C )**

I didnt have much to do in this dark grey room I was looked in. Almost I could do was running around in circles, walking around in circles, sleep and read some books the strigois has given me to read.

Right now I was walking around in a circle while itching on one of the many scars on my arm. I was really bored but then all of sudden I could hear the sounds of chain being removed from the other side of the door probably by a strigoi of course and I knew that the strigoi probably had a knife or a gun with her / him.

I knew that they were going to hurt me so I instantly stopped walking around in a circle and rused to the corner that was the longest away from the door and sat down in the corner, leaning my check on my knees and hugging my own legs.

I heard the chains being removed from the door and then the big chain being.. not locked up but still removed. It sounded almost like it was ripped apart.

Then the door opened and I hugged my legs harder in fear but it was not strigoi walking into the room, I could see on their eyes that they were strigoi and three of them looked familiar but I didnt know why they looked so familiar but though they looked familiar they scared the shit out of me.

"Sydney. Is that you?" said the dhampir girl with long, dark brown hair and brown eyes. All I could see in her eyes were happiness but why?

When she took steps closer to me I snapped and threw a book at her. Yes I threw a book at her. **(yes it's Rose)**

"Stay away from me you evil creature of night" I hissed at her, seeing her eyes widden with shock.

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**Yeah sorry because of the short but it would be longer if my computer hadnt deleted the long part I had written D:**


	3. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

Thank you for the reviews and follows. That means so much to me, makes me all happy in my heart. I know my english is not perfect. Im swedish and english is not my first language so.. yeah :P

Sydney doesnt know who rose is. She doesnt know who her friends five years ago is. She doesnt remember them at all because the pain pushed away all her positive feelings and all her memories. She thinks everyone wants to hurt her and she doesnt trust anyone and she is afraid of anything that is vampire or half vampire ;)

And in this chapter I will mention my Ehlymana and yes I know I said MY EHLYMANA because Ehlymana is mine. She is my best friend and I love her very much but as a super goodie friend :D And I owe her so much because Ehlymana wrote this chapter because I wasnt able to write it so yeah, this amazing chapter is written by the amazing Ehlymana. I was not able to write the chapter because I have IT, in sweden it means ´idee torka´. It means that you dont have any ideas at all that can happen and that makes that you cant write and Im also on the 10 august I will go on a vacation to Mallorca in Spain and I wont be home until the 17 / 18 august. I wont be able to write at all under the vacation because I dont have internet and to much to do with my family and they will probably wont let me sit inside and write so I promise that when I come home from Spain I will make a author note and think of ideas for chapter 3 if I dont have IT (idee torka) So I asked Ehlymana if she could write this chapter because I want to release a chapter of this story before going on vacation, so you dont have to wait to long for more of the story and I was suprised, very suprised when she accepted to write Chapter 2.

So go to Ehlymanas page and check her out. Check out her story and read all of it because SHE IS AMAZING. SHE IS JUST AS AMAZING AS ADRIAN IVASHKOV. OUR HOTTIE :D THANK YOU SO GOD FREAKING MUCH FOR WRITING THIS CHAPTER EHLYMANA. I LOVE YOU! :D (as a friend xD) So check her out and read her story and follow and favorite her because she is AMAZING! :D

But now back to the story ;D

**Chapter 2**

**Rose POV**

It's been five years. One thousand, eight hundred and twenty six days. All that time we've been looking for Sydney. She just disappeared one day, while she was buying food for the gang. Dimitri found her car and the food in it, in a very messy state. He went into the store where a salesman confirmed that she went in, bought the food and exited Burger King. And she was alone, acting normal. Dimitri also noticed that there were several burns on the parking lot, near the car.

By the time they realised Sydney was gone, it was too late. Dimitri searched for her everywhere, but he didn't find her. Adrian thought the Alchemists were responsible, and at the beginning I had no idea why, but they also came looking for her.

We all searched and hoped for a while, but months passed without anything new happening. Sydney just disappeared. Adrian already organised an action of breaking into a Re-education centre, begging us not to ask him how or why, and then a Strigoi the guardians caught told, seconds before he died, that the Strigoi had a witch imprisoned and that they tortured her. Nobody payed much attention to his words.

I didn't understand why Adrian cared so much. I mean, Sydney's disappearance was a very bad thing, but he was acting abnormal. Or, as I liked to say to myself, he was acting like Adrian. I didn't pay much attention to him not feeding, eating or drinking for days and looking like a ghost. I told myself, "Maybe she owed him something, so he wanted the debt to be paid." I told myself, "It'll pass. Adrian always acted like this." And then I accidentaly heard Jill, while she was talking with Eddie, saying it hurt so much and that she thought he was going to die. She said that he couldn't live without Sydney, and then I started putting two and two together.

I burst into his room one day, asking him if he was in love with Sydney. I thought I was crazy for asking and that he'd start laughing, offering a reasonable explanaiton. Man, I was wrong. He didn't laugh, or move, or anything. He just looked at me, those green eyes shining with tears. And then he told me all about how and why he loved her.

I was angry and jealous at first; only looking at Dimitri stopped me for spontaneously combusting. I felt disgusted and I couldn't understand what he saw in her, and she in him. I thought, "People say I'm scandalous, but compared to them I'm nothing".

But through the years I came to peace with his feelings and I've done everything to help him. He loved her so much and couldn't get over it, and I hated to see him suffer.

But I firmly believed Sydney was dead. We all did. At least until Adrian rummaged through the guardian archives and found that sentence about a witch.

He found the report two years after it was written and he was so angry. I didn't get why that would be so important, all until he told us the story of Sydney being a witch.

And as time passed, I've come to understand their love.

Instead of breaking into a Re-education centre, we started breaking into Strigoi nests.

And we cleaned almost all nests in the USA. Adrian was very enthusiastic at the beginning, but we came back again and again without news. We found blonde girls that served as bloodwhores, we found blonde Strigoi, we tortured the leaders and asked about witches, but we found no useful leads.

And after five years, or one thousand, eight hundred and twenty six days, we found the main nest. Or, at least, a very big one. It was hard to break in, to kill all those Strigoi and we all thought it was going to be the same as always - nothing.

But in the Strigoi nest was some kind of a prison with many big, metal doors. Eddie, Dimitri and I at the front, started pulling the chains and opening the door, one by one.

In the first room was a crazy man, obviously food. In the second room was a Strigoi rival from another nest. And behind the third door... Was a big room with chains and ropes and knives. Torturing room?

I hoped we'd find weapons in it, but what we found was much, much better. And worse. And shocking.

A blonde, skeleton-like, scarred and bloody girl was hidden in a corner. She turned her head towards me, and it was as if I could see her whole life flash in her eyes - Russia, the Keepers, Palm Springs, Adrian...

My heart started beating faster. Those brown eyes weren't flashing and she was pale like a vampire, but could she be... "Sydney?" I said and started walking towards her.

But that Sydney Sage I knew didn't exist in her eyes anymore. In them I saw only fear. She threw a book at me, but I was too astonished by the fact that I actually found her here.

And her next words were even more shocking. "Get away from me, you evil creature of the night!" she said in a strained voice, sounding like she didn't use words for a long time... Sounding like she was screaming recently. A lot.

Could we save her? Five years of her life were lost in God knows what kinds of torture. In those five years I got maried and became a very important guardian. Lissa passed the hereditary laws. Even Jill was with Eddie for about four years now. Adrian was 27 now. And for Sydney... For Sydney time stopped.

And the look in her eyes made me think she was beyond repair.


	4. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

Thank you for all the kind reviews and follows, love when you review and I know it's sad right now but I promise there will be a happy ending for our Sydney and Adrian :)

And today I started school again. Shit. Adrian bite me D:

Sorry for not updating. I was on mallorca in spain the whole week so wasnt able to write the next chapter but now Im home (got home on saturday the 17th xD) I will of course continue on "Reading The Golden Lily" :D

But here is the next chapter and still sorry for my bad english xD

I dont own any characters in this story though I do own Lily and the . . . *secret* . . . that we will get to see in later chapters.

*Nom nom nom nom oh my adrian.. this is adrian delicous candy* ;D

**Rose POV**

Nothing in the whole orld could expain the schok I was feeling right now and when I say shock I mean shock plus one million of sad and shocking feelings that has been felt during these five years without my human friend Sydney.

I didnt get shocked very often but when I do get shocked it's someting very serious because Rose Hathaway, me of orse os the most badass guardian that has ever been around but my Dimitri (Dont touch my Dimitri) , my true love forver and ever is more awesome than me and maybe just as badass me because he was the hot russian guardian that stole my heart and he had trained me during my time on St Vladimirs and without him helping me in training and kicking butts ( ;D ) I hadnt been here but the bad about that is that if nothing of that had happened on St ladimirs I would never had gone to Russia to free Dimitri from when he had been Strigoi and I would never had meet Sydney and she would probably not be in this situation right she is right now, all because of me. If she never had meet me and help me during my escape she would still be a regular alchemist assigned somewhere and not assigned to Palm Springs and all that stuff.

I cant change the past, that's impossible but the whole part of me wants it to be able to change the past because If I could change the past I would have gotten to the day Sydney went missing, just a minute before those bastards took her, kick the Strigoi butts litteraly before I killed them and then kill those stupid Strigoi that had kidnapped her, and did all this damage to her. I would have saved Sydney and Sydney and Adrian would live happily ever after if she now didnt go to re-education. They would have lived a happy life together with their two dragons, Lily and Hopper. And now when Im already talking about Lily and Hopper, there is something huge going on between Lily and Hopper right now back at court. They had become full grown callistanna dragons so that means they are both mature to get baby callistanna dragons and guess what? If you are thinking the same Im thinking then you can kick your own ass for me because I dont want anyone reading my mind but back to Hoppy, a name we found out for Lily and Hopper. You want the good or bad news first? The good ones? Okay. The good news is that . . . *dramatic music. Prepare your popcorn. Prepare to spit popcorn all over the place* it is . . . Lily is pregnant with Hopper! We found out months ago when Lily started to act all weird and chew on our socks that she was pregnant. Before we had found out that Lily was pregnant she started to play more pranks on us, throw pie and paint on us though I dont know why she threw that stuff on us and she also started to eat our socks, litterly. And when she started to puke light pink pukes we got her to Ms Terwilliger, Sydney's teacher and magic teacher also she's a witch to, and Ms Terwilliger examined Lily and BAM! We found out she is pregnant. Lily is on month 8 now so 1 month left and then we will have baby callestinna dragons.

Enough with the good news (though I want to talk about it forever). Here is the bad knews and some of the bad knews was hint in the good knew. It's Lily's mood swings and pranks that is the worst though the throwing pie and paint thing is also worse but her pranks, oh my god her pranks. Her pranks gets worse everytime she pranks on us. Once, around two months ago a prank on Eddie was so bad he hit his head in a sharp edge and started bleeding and had to sew though Lily apologized, you could hear that on the way she squeked nonstop to Eddie after the prank when he was in hospital bed. She throws pie or paint on us atleast once in a week and it's often pie that Adrian had made or his paint she's throwing on us. She had ruined many of our clothes already especially when she ate our socks, litteraly. We have to wait one month more and then the hell will be over and a new one will begun.

But now I should talk about them right? And continue back to where I were? You want me to continue? And that I will.

Those Strigoi that did this damage on her deserve more than death. They deserve double the pain Sydney had been feeling and their blood would be flowing. I would torment them and then rip their heart out with my hand, litteraly. Cut their limps apart and put their stupid limps into the fire and feed their cooked limps to the wolves, if we now had any wolves near the forest near court.

Sydney looked really terrible there she sat in the corner of the dark, depressing room. The room had almost no light at all so you could almost se nothing expect for a little light that shined in the middle of the room, the light came from a lamp that was hanging in the middle of the ceiling in the room. The ceiling was black and depressing, everything is damn depressing around here in this room.

The light shining just a little in the middle of the room flickered a few times, also a few times the light shut down by itself, making it dark in the room but the light shut on by itself after just a little while but the thing was, Sydney didnt seem to be annoyed by the flickering light, her whole sight was set on me, Eddie and Dimitri and the other guardians behind us starring at her with wide eyes.

We stared at her because how she locked. She looked so small, so insigificant and so. . skinny.

Before she went missing, me and the others used to joke about her being skinny and a bit of skinny looking but that before five years ago wasnt nothing compared to how skinny she is right now. She was so skinny that you could see her ribs trough the dirty looking button up shirt she was warinng and it looked like that those dirty jeans that matched her dirty shirt, it looked like if she stand up her jeans would fall of, she was looking so small and so skinny though not super skinny but atleast so skinny that you can see her ribs.

I could also se both new, old and bloody scars on her arms, legs and throat. The scars on her throat were cut marks or bites. Just by thinking Strigoi biting Sydney made me so angry I wanted to feed the deed Strigoi corpses. Even if you only could see her arms, legs and throat and face and all that on the face I guessed that if you took of her clothes away from her body there would surely would be alot of more scars under the shirt and jeans covering her once little skinny looking body.

Her clothes was dirty and she was dirty all over her body, her hair was longer than five years ago but her hair had blood in it and that looked so.. nasty but creepy with blood in her hair. And she smelled bad, really bad. She smelled with alot of dirt and blood and sweat. She smelled so bad that I almost puked right infront of all the guardians but I sallowed and did not puke on the bloody and muddy floor. She hasnt been showered for a long time, that's for sure. As soon we get her out of here and taken her to court I will get her to a shower and showe her litteraly and cover her with everything with good smell, shampo and balsam but to take her to the shower right now isnt important. To take her away from here is important right now.

"Sydney.. Its me. Rose" I told her, taking steps closer to there she sat in the corner of the room. I could see her body shaking and luckily for me, when I got closer to her she didnt throw another book at me this time. I didnt want another book hitting me again.

"Rose. A flower. With sharp thorns but beautiful and soft petals but can easily be broken if you watch out for the sharp thorns" Sydney said, looking down on her own feet and I could see the hint of a smile on her lips when she said that.

I raised one of my eyebrows and yes ladies and gentlemens! Im finally able to raise a eyebrow. Hahahaha. Suck at that (sorry) ;D I then sighed and put my guardian face on and started to take steps closer to her again but when I got steps closer to her, she curcled up into a tiny ball and she looked so much smaller when she did that. She was watching me with her wide eyes, all I could see in her eyes were fear and I also saw tears forming in her eyes when I took steps closer to her once again.

She stretched out her hands towards me, as if she could push me away with her mind that of course didnt work and no way Im backing away from her. I have to get her out from her and get her back to court and reunite her with Adrian. Adrian. There his name was again. The Adrian that I knew Sydney was in love with and I knew the reasons he was in love with her. It was beautiful actually.. dont tell anyone I said that and all I could remember when I though about his name right now was the pain and sadness when Sydney disappered. I wanted him to be happy, he deserves so much and he will definetly be happy when I tell him we had found his Sydney.

"We are not going to hurt you" I said to her, trying to make my voice calm but that surely didnt work and I realised that when I saw Sydneys horrified expression. She pointed one of her pale fingers towards me with tears in her eyes, tears that was threatening to fall.

"Dont come any closer. You lie to me. You just wants to hurt me. Just like everyone else" she said with her voice low, it was like she wasnt able to talk any higher than that, that's probably because of all her screming. If you listened closely you could her that on her voice when she was talking.

"Syd . . . " I started to say but I was interupted by Eddie that was now all of sudden standing beside me, I hadnt even noticed that he had been standing there beside me. Eddie was watching Sydney with sad but caring eyes that also had a few tears in them but the guardian inside of him didnt let the tears fall.

"Sydney. You may not remember Rose but do you remember me and Dimitri?" Eddie asked with a calming voice. He pointed at Dimitri that was standing two metres away from us. He had a sad expression on his face, something you maybe never saw. But of course, we all were sad finding Sydney in this bad condition.

Eddie was trying to calm down Sydney and I could see Sydney watching Eddie with fear in her eyes but I could see her calming down when she heard his calming voice.

Sydney shock her head but winched a little whenshe did that and itched on one of her scars on her throat. Her answer shocked mmore. She didnt remember any of us.

What the hell did they do to her that made this happen to her, why did they een even do this to her. She had done nothing to them expect getting rid of Strigoi bodies that I had staked.

"Please come with me" Eddie said to Sydney. I could her the sadness in his voice when he talked and I knew he was hurt because of Sydney not rememing him. They had been like brother and sister before Sydney got kidnapped.

"But.. you're a evil creature of the night . . you just want to hurt me" Sydney said, her voice sounding a little unsure, as if she was thinking about going with us or not.

"We dont want to hurt you. I promise. We will never hurt you. Those who did this to you is dead. You wont feel any pain no more." Eddie took steps closer to her and that made a few tears started to roll down Sydneys cheeks. She tried to back away from him but it was impossible kind of because she, her back was already pressed against the wall behind her. Her eyes were impossible wide and her eyes was shining because of the tears filling her brown eyes.

"Please dont" she whispered, her voice low and I could hear the fear she had over us in her voice. Her body was still shaking because probably of the fear she was feeling.

"But we have to get you out of here" Eddie told her and took so many steps closer to her that he was really close to her and that he had to look down to look at her because of her sitting down and that creeped the shit out of Sydney because the tears rann down her cheeks now like rivers of tears and she started to hit Eddie on his legs while the tears rann down her cheeks.

"Get away" Sydney screamed and hearing her scream was just so sad and heartbreaking. I didnt like to hear her cry. It hurt when she screamed and it was so so sad hearing her scream and seeing her cry.

Even if she dont remember us and want us to go away. I wont let that happen. Heck no. I will never go away from her.

"God damnit Sydney" I sighed and took so many steps that I was standing beside Eddie also standing very near Sydney. I looked down on her and when she realised I was also standing infront of her she started to hit me intestead of Eddie on the legs. That she hit me on the legs didnt hurt at all because her hits were really weak but I didnt care.

I gripped both her arms, gripped her arms gently but hard enough that she wouldnt be able to get out from my grip. We had to take her away from here NOW and not later.

When I touched her she started to scream, alot. Her scream was heartpiercing and it hurt my ears and my heart when she screamed. Her scream hurt the most my ears the most right now but my ears is not important right now, Sydney is more important than my ears right now. She tried to get away from me, she was struggling in my grip and tried to escape but I wouldnt let her get away from me. She can be alone later but not right now. She didnt get away from my grip because she was weak and I strong, she was to weak to fight back.

I picked up Sydney in my arms though I had a little trobble to pick her up in my arms. She was screaming and struggling so much that I was nearly not able to pick her up but when she started to hit me with one of her foots I luckily picked her up and held her tight against me so she wouldnt get away.

This just made her scream much more and her ear hurting scream hurted me ear so much when she screamed, so much that I almost dropped her on the ground but I luckily didnt drop her on the floor though her scream was hurting and kind of annoying when she screamed all the time.

I was shocked when I held her in my arms. She felt so skinny, I could feel her ribs trough her dirty button up shirt and now when she was closer to me I could see her scars more closer. They were both short and long and deep cuts and scars in her arms, it looked so nasty that I looked away from her scars. The other shocking thing about having her in my arms was her weight, she felt to weight so little in my arms, she almost felt like a feather in my arms.

"Take it easy" Dimiti told me when I started to carry Sydney towards the door. She was still struggling in my arms and I carried her trough the door. I walked with her in my arms with Dimitri, Eddie and the other guardians following me.

When we got out of the big Strigoi nest and out into the sun Sydney all of sudden stopped screaming and that actually scared me. I first though she had died and I could she the look on the others faces that they thought that to but when I looked down on her I noticed that she wasnt dead, luckily. She wasnt looking at me at all, she was looking up at the bright blue sky and watching the clouds flying over us there and there all over the sky. Her eyes were filled with curiosity and she slowly stretched out her hands towards the sky, trying to grab the clouds though that is impossible. She tried to grap the clouds but when she realised she couldnt grap them she dropped down her hands and just looked up at the right blue sky and beautiful cotton candy white clouds. All of us, me, Dimitri and Eddie and all the guardians smiled and the guardians that still had their guardian face on were smiling to. Sydney looked like a baby when she tried to grab the clouds that saw the sky for the first time.

"Its beautiful" she told us, shot me a glance and this time she had no fear in her eyes, only curiosity and I saw a smile, a full smile on her lips when she looked at the sky.

"So colorful" she murmured and I smiled, she smiled to but she didnt knew I was smiling.

We walked towards the place we had our cars hidden and while we were walking towards our hidden cars Sydney kept watching the sky. She did look at me a few times but she didnt scream or get away and I could se on her that she was happy to see more colors than the colors in that room they had kept her looked into. More bright and colorful colors than depressing colors like black and gray.

We kept walking until we came to a path sorrounded by big trees, we walked along the path that you could drive on and walked for a few minutes. When we went past the trees I saw Sydney watching the trees, smiling.

When we got to our cars that were parked along the path, though hidden på bushes on their sides, every guardian got to their car and sat in them and started to drive away.

Me, Dimitri and Eddie got to our car we had used to drive here with, Dimitri opened the car door to the backseat for me and Sydney. When the door was opened fully so I could set down Sydney, I layd Sydney down of the backseats. When I did that something happened to her. The curiosity in her eyes disappeared and she looked at us three again with fear in his eyes. She didnt scream, she just sat up and curled into a tiny ball on the seat longest to the left.

I sighed and sat down on the seat on the right. Sydney shot me a glance but once again she looked trough the window and I looked trough the other window on my side. Dimitri sat down on the driver seat and Eddie sat down on the seat beside him. When everyone was in the car, the car doors closed and when we had our car seatbealts on expect Sydney, Dimitri started to car and drove of and started to drive towards court that layd two hours away from here. Two hours and Sydney will be back with all the other to.

We drove past many trees, trees in many colors of green but no tree had the same green in Adrians eyes and when I looked at Sydney, I saw her reflection in the car window. I saw her eyes flash by a little gold. I gasped quietly and the gold from her eyes disappered. That shocked me a little, maybe she remembered about Adrians wonderful green eyes to? The gold in her eyes remembered me of something and I then I remembered that the gold I had seen in her eyes remembered me of the gold on her golden lily tattoo on her left (?) cheek.

The tattoo! I quickly fixed my gaze on Sydneys left cheek and saw the tttoo was still there on her cheek and it was just as golden as it had been before she had gotten kidnapped. Her tattoo, the golden lily was still very beautiful, just as beautiful it had been before. I havnt tell anyone of this but Im maybe to get a lily tattoo but without the moroi blood in them. As for a memory for Sydney but now we have Sydney here I maybe dont have to get the tattoo.

I turned away my gaze from her tattoo and looked trough the window and leaned my cheek against the car window. I was actually really sleepy after breaking into so many Strigoi nests. I only slept around 2 to 3 hours each day so I took my time so I will sleep while they drive to court.

I closed my eyes and started to fall asleep and slowly I felt myself being pulled into a spirit dream. It was not Lissa or Sonya that had pulled me into a spirit dream. It was Adrian.

**- Start of Spirit dream -**

I knew that I had been pulled into a spirit dream before I appeard into the spirit dream. The first thing I noticed when I appeard in the spirit dream was the smell of flowers around me and the wind flying by, making me shiver but giving me a nice but a little cold feeling in my body.

The first thing I noticed when my eyes had adjusted to the spirit dream and the nice feeling winds I could see a few trees around me. Trees in all kind of colors but most in green, just as green as Adrians eyes and a few were golden or brown, just like Sydney eyes. I also saw my self, without shoes or socks standing on a field with light green grass. When I moved my toes I felt the grass go trough my toes and it felt nice when it did that. The light green grass was soft, just like feathers when I moved with my toes and feets.

I also saw all kind of flowers covering the soft field so that explains the flowery smell I had smelled when my eyes hadnt adjusted to the spirit dream. The flowers growing up from the ground were all kind of flowers in all kind of colors. It was most lilys covering the field but there was some tulips and roses there and there. The lilys were in the colors white, gold, pink, blue and the list goes on. The lilys were in every kind of colors but the roses was only in red and pink and the tulips was in purple and yellow.

I knew why there was so many lilys here. It was a spirit dream Adrian had controll of and of course he was placing lilys everywhere, it was a memory for Sydney and Adrian also had planted lilys at the courts garden and he even also had a few lilys in flower pots in his room with of course empty alcohol bottles almost everywhere on his room because of him drinking to much.

I looked down on my body and saw that I was wearing the black dress that I used at a party, prom thing at St Vladimirs and I smiled. I had alot of good memories on St Vladimirs.

Out in the distance there was a yellow house there with a white fence surronding it. The house was nice looking and I could see that the house was to levels. I could se that on the height and the fact I could see stairs trough one of the big windows near the big golden door and near the big golden door, on the small stairs up to the door there was sitting Hopper and Lily, holding hands together with their callistanna dragon hands and they were smiling an they were watching something infront of them and I turned my sight to where they were looking and what I saw was atleast 4 callistanna dragons that looked like to be just 3 months old so they were only baby callistanna dragons. They were playing on the ground, wrestling with eachother and biting eachother in the ear. I knew these were Hopper and Lilys children though just in this spirit dream, not in real life because Lily in real life hadnt given birth yet. They looked so cute that my heart almost melted and I jerked my head up when I heard the sound of the golden door open and someone I knew very well stepped trough the door.

Adrian was the one of course that stepped trough the door, holding a martini in his hand and taking slow sips from the drink while he also started to watch the baby dragons play on the soft gras inside of the fence area.

Adrian was wearing a light green shirt that matched his eyes perfectly and he also had on dark green jeans on him that also matched his eyes and his shirt he was wearing. He hadnt any shoes or socks on him either, maybe he liked to walk in the soft grass here to.

I slowly started to walk to them. Taking slow steps towards the yellow house, Adriand, Hopper, Lily and the baby callistanna dragons that were playing on the ground but it was the baby dragons that noticed me first when I got close enough. Their adorable eyes were watching me, they were studing me and then they started to squek. All of them started to squek and that caught Adrians attention.

Adrian looked up and when he saw me standing near the fence he didnt smile, of course, he never smiled these days. He didnt smile at all after Sydney disappeared. He started to walk towards me and when he started to came closer I noticed that his dark bron hair was shining in the sun on the sky and it was styled in that regular style he used for his hair. That messy dark brown hair was still good looking though it looked messy. He is 27 years old right now but he looked just like he did five years ago.

The fact that he had pulled me into a spirit dream was a good sign though it was annoying me because now I wouldnt get my beauty sleep. That he had pulled me into this spirit dream meant he was atleast sober instead of drunk. He was often drunk, almost everyday because of the depression of Sydneys disappearing and Jill is lucky because she can block away his feelings now so she isnt affected by his very sad and very depressing feelings and thoughts.

"Hey there Rose" he said and hugged me just a little and I returned his hug, hugging him back just to make him a tiny tiny tiny bit happy. I backed away from our hug when I realised that I had to tell him that we had found his Sydney. I knew I had to but I didnt knew how. I dont know how he will react when I tell him about Sydney and what bad condition she is right now, that she dont rememer us, that she thinks that we are evil creatures of the night.

"Hey" I answered and looked down when I felt pressure on my feets. I smiled a little when I saw the baby dragons running over my feets and one of them were sitting on my toes, watching me with curiosity and I smiled down at the little dragon sitting on my toes and it was so god damn cute when the baby dragon smiled back at me.

"Did you search trough the big strigoi nest?" Adrian asked me, his expression sad when he watched me with those sad eyes. I sighed and just nodded, didnt want to say anything else right now, still figuring out how to tell him about Sydney and all that.

"Did you find her? Did you find Sage?" His voice sounding sad but . . hopefull.

I smiled just a tiny bit when I heard him say the nickname he always used for Sydney. Still deciding on how to tell him but I didnt have much time to think so I just did a simply nod and a ´yes´ as an answer.

"Yes" I said but I did not smile when a picture of Sydney in her bad condition pooped up into my mind. I tried to shake of the picture from my mind but it didnt work so I focused on Adrian now instead of the picture of Sydney in my head.

I waited for the squel of joy. The scream of joy from Adrian but nothing came from him, not a single sound I could hear from him. His eyes were impossible wide and his mouth was hanging open just a little. What? Didnt he expect us to find Sydney? Or he's probably at shock because of me correcting him that we had found her, Sydney. I had also been in shock when we had found her but the most shocking part was that seeing her look so terrible, with all those scars on her body.

"Really? Your not joking? Did you really find her?" He asked, his voice shaking a little and I knew he maybe was going to cry. Maybe of happiness or sadness, maybe both.

"Yes Adrian. We really found her" I said and this time I did actually smile because we did find her. She is together back with us, with the gang though she was in a really bad condition and that she didnt remember atleast me, Dimitri and Eddie. Adrian didnt know this though because he hadnt been with us when we had broken in into the big Strigoi nest and found Sydney.

When we started to break into Strigoi nest, no moroi were allowed to follow with us, not even fire users. Only guardians were allowed to follow with us and break into Strigoi nests, only graduated guardians like me, Dimitri and Eddie. Our other friends didnt follow. They were to busy with their own thing back at court. Lissa was probably doing some paperwork that she has alot of to do or she has some funny time with Christian and some of that funny time involves a bed. Eww. Dont want to think about them in bed. Eww. Already scared for seeing them just about to have sex at the storage room at the church back at St Vladimirs. Still . . ewww, dont want to think about what Lissa does with Sparky on their freetime. Adrian was probablly at court, drinking so much alcohol until he pukes and gets a hangover but the look on his face here in the spirit dream was sober so that meant he hadnt started drinking yet. Jill is really getting good on offensive and deffensive attacks, both with hands, body and her water element. She often practice water magic attacks with Mia because they are both water users. We even got a big like a bit away from court there they often train their water magic so both of them are probably there training. Heck. Everyones at court but maybe not Adrian, that depends if he's at his house, the courts alcohol bar or another towns alcohol bar. Probably waiting for us with the news about the break in that he already now know. Adrian knew Strigoi had been holding her captured but he didnt know about wich condition she was in.

The big smile forming on his face proved he didnt know about Sydneys condition. It was a big smile that I hadnt seen in so many years and when I now saw him smiling that big smile I became all happy because he had been so sad for so long, seeing Adrian not smile for five years is sad.

After that he litteraly didnt do much. He just standed there, watching me with his green eyes and that big smile on his lips and it started to became a little bit creepy when a few minutes went by.

I started to wave my hand infront of his face and when I saw his pupils in his eyes follow my hands movement I knew he wasnt braindead because of happiness and that would have been bad if he had been braindead with happiness because if he had been braindead he wouldnt be able to see Sydney again and that would be bad.

"Adrian? If you dont move I will have to kick your butt . . again." When I said that Adrian returned to his mind and he hugged me, much to my surprise. He hugged me hard and spun me around in many circles and we wouldnt just stop.

"Adrian .. no more circles.. puking" I whispered because I was tightly pressed against his body and couldnt talk so very good but the good thing was that he let go of me and he still had one of thise big full smiles on his face.

"You finally found her!" Adrian screamed happily and he was so happy that he litteraly jumped around the place like if he was a little eight year old girl. I couldnt help but laugh when he did that. It was so cute but how will he react when he knows about her condition?

"Yeah.." I said, sounding unsure if I would tell or not.

"Rose what is it?" Adrian asked me, gripping my arms and looked at me worried but he was prrobably worried about Sydney, he probably though there was something wrong with Sydney.

"Umm.. you really want to know?" I asked, still sounding unsure in my voice. He nodded and a few tears I saw in his eyes, he was really worried know.

"Okay.. the thing is that.." I started to say but when I was about to tell him about Sydneys condition, how terrible she locked I all of sudden felt myself getting jerked out of the Spirit dream and away from Adrian.

**- End of Spirit dream -**

I instantly woke up just to find Dimitris face infront of mine and all I could see was his brown eyes watching me with a worried expression. I smiled at him and yawned a little, holding my hand infront of my mouth and I notied that his hands were on my shoulders. He probably had shaken me awake from the spirit dream.

"What?" I said, my voice sounding tired and a little mad because he had woken me up from the spirit dream.

"We are here" Dimitri told me, pointing out the car window and when I looked out the car window I saw that we already was at court. Wow. Spirit dreams goes really fast. I just nodded and stretched out my arms, yawning once again and took of me my seatbealt and noticed Dimitri and Eddie already have taken of their seatbealts.

When I looked at Sydney on the seat beside me, she was sitting on the seat, with her face on the car window and when she noticed me, she shot me a glance of fear and turned away from me.

Prepare everyone. We have arrived. Sydney Sage has arrvied.


	5. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

Thank you for the reviews. I really love when you review :3

This chapter was written by Ehlymana because she wanted to write chpter 4 and I let her. Thank you Ehlymana so much for writing this chapter :3

_Totalbooknerd13 - Yeah. Poor poor Adrian :(_

_Ehlymana - Our hearts will break many times in this story but there will be a happy ending, that I can promise. And thank you :D_

_SPFKLover - Yeah but it wont be a happy reunion ;D_

_Megan Ivashkov - Thank you for liking where this story is going x)_

_Lucy - Cant wait to write more :D_

_lalala - Thank you :3_

(╯°□°）╯︵ ┻━┻

**Sydney's POV**

They are monsters.

Monsters.

It was the only reasonable thought left in my head. They were monsters, sent here to torture me. Why? Because they love torturing people. Because torture is all I knew, my whole life. Or at least, for as long as I can remember.

All I ever remembered was pain. And now, seeing the look in the brown-eyed beautiful girl, I saw that pain again.

I shuddered and had to turn away. It didn't matter what they all said... even though they said they weren't going to hurt me. I didn't understand why they were pretending – I could already feel the cold blades of their weapons slicing through my skin.

But that was okay. Pain was the constant part of my life, and I lived with it. There was nothing before or after, nothing beyond it. Sometimes, I'd go beyond the pain, into the blissful feeling of being bitten, but it'd last only for a moment and I'd feel even weaker than I did before.

That's why I knew – there was nothing beyond that pain. No joy, no memories, no family, no anything. Just me, the monsters, and the pain.

Something warm touched my arm. I tried to move away, but there was nowhere I could go. My brain was telling me resisting was pointless, because they were stronger than I was, but my body still reacted to the touch.

"Sydney," a nice voice said and I flinched. Why was she calling me like that? I remembered, somewhere in the back of my mind, that Sydney was a town in Australia. Why did it matter? Was that a new nickname for me or something? Because I didn't like it.

And I was confused. Why weren't they starting with the torture already? Why was there no pain? I felt empty without it. Completely empty. I was afraid that, if the pain didn't come soon, something would happen to me, and I started to tremble.

"We won't hurt you, I promise," that irritating voice said again. I hissed, turning around to look at its owner, and seeing that brown-eyed girl again, her eyes widening, her mouth half-open. She was so beautiful compared to me. I hated her.

"Eddie, I think she doesn't like me," the girl said, turning around to face a man. There was something about him, something that was saying he might be safe. It was definitely a new technique – to make me feel comfortable and then torture me even worse.

"Don't be scared, you're safe with us," the tall man said. He was strange, dark, and something inside of me told me he was definitely a Strigoi. His eyes weren't red, but I didn't care.

I moved away from them, as far in the corner of the car as I could, and I closed my eyes. I didn't want to think about them, or about anything. I just wanted to be where I've always been – safe, in that dark room, bitten and cut, with my best friend – pain. Nothing else mattered, nothing else was important.

"Get out of the car," the other man said harshly. The girl made a sound of protest and I shut my eyes tightly, trying not to hiss at her again. And in the next moment, the sounds were gone. I was really good in zoning out of things that were happening around me, obviously.

"You can open your eyes now," the comfortable voice said, "They're gone."

Even though I didn't want to do what he said, I opened my eyes anyway. There was no one else in the car – only that man and me. So, he wanted to torture me by himself? Well, he was going to have a very hard time with me. I might've been weak, but there was still strength in my fists.

"You don't remember me," the man said. "But if it means anything, my name is Edison Castile. Everyone call me Eddie, though." His mouth was turned up in what looked like a sad smile. It just managed to confuse me more.

Then I heard something – a memory or a hallucination, I guessed – a warm voice, saying the word Castile. It meant something to me once, but I had no idea what or why. I blinked, willing the confusing thought away.

"And I know you don't trust me, but I swear on my life I won't let anyone touch you," Eddie continued. "I will fight them all if I need to, but you'll be safe with me."

I found myself believing his words for a moment, but then I couldn't suppress a laugh. My voice was thick, because I've been using it a lot for screaming lately, but I still managed to sound hysterical.

Eddie's sad smile vanished – his face was expressionless, like a real mask. He probably thought I was crazy, and I didn't care – I probably was. But what did it matter? What did anything matter? He was going to protect me? Where the hell was he whole my life, then? He was just going to take me to another one of those rooms, I knew. I was just going to end up somewhere else, with someone else torturing me, but nothing was going to change.

Pain was never going to end.

"You think I'm joking," he said, hurt visible in his eyes. He really was a good actor, I noticed. Perhaps this was some new sick game the Strigoi played – they got to know their prey before they started torturing it. "You think I'm going to take you somewhere and let someone else do…" he swallowed, his eyes glancing at my body, "that to you."

All I could do was smile at him. Words were pointless – I knew how to listen, how to speak, even, but I never spoke. Words were useless for me – screams were much more efficient.

"I swear to God, I won't take you there again," Eddie continued. I suppressed the urge to roll my eyes – didn't he see this was pointless, too? "I'll take you to a nice room; mine, if you want that, and you'll take a shower, put on some clean clothes, we'll heal you-"

He stopped talking when he saw me shudder. Heal. Vampire magic.

Monsters.

"Okay, we won't heal you, if you don't want to, and you'll lie down on a bed and get some sleep. Then, hopefully, your memories will come back. But nobody will hurt you, ever again, and I'll never let you out of my sight again. That is a promise, and a fact."

I couldn't suppress the urge anymore – I rolled my eyes. Yeah, right. First, he mentioned a shower? Last time I took a shower… two years ago, maybe? I didn't remember. When the Strigoi couldn't handle the smell anymore, they'd put me into cold water for an hour or so. That was my definition of taking a shower. Clean clothes? There wasn't such thing as clean clothes. There was only blood, everywhere.

And a bed? If he meant hard stone floor, I was fine with it. If he meant coldness and darkness, I was fine with it. And what the hell was he talking about when he said memories? What memories? He didn't even know who I was. I didn't even know who I was. I was just a feast for Strigoi, the screaming material, the entertainment. I never was anything more.

Eddie took several uneven breaths – he was probably finally tired of acting. I braced myself for what was going to happen next.

And I was right to do so. Eddie opened the car door, got out, shut it loudly, and opened the rear door. I fled into the farest corner of the car, as away from him as physically possible.

He slowly entered the car, determination in his eyes. "I won't hurt you, I promise. I just want you to get out of this car."

What choice did I have? None, I knew, but I felt safer here, than if they put me into another dark room. At least I could see something here. At least I could see the sky when I looked out of the window. I didn't want to be in the dark again, and I was going to fight this man with all I had.

Eddie came closer to me, and I hissed. "Sydney, I won't hurt you. I just want to…"

He stopped when I slapped him, hard. I had no other weapon than my hands, but fortunately, I knew how to use them. Yes, they were weak, but they were enough.

Eddie didn't react. He didn't say, or do anything. He just sat there, his head still tilted from when I hit him, his mouth half-open.

Perhaps he was going to kill me, I thought. Perhaps the pain would finally end, and I'd find out what was beyond it. Somehow, I felt soothed by the thought. Happy, even.

Eddie slowly turned around, and even though his face was a mask, I saw pain in his eyes. Why was he still acting to be the good guy? Did he want something from me? But what could he possibly want? For me not to scream when he hits me? For me not to cry when it hurts like hell? Because my screams, my tears, they were all I had.

Eddie didn't say anything. I started screaming when he took my wrists in one hand, and my legs in his other. I tried to break free, but I just managed to twist my ankle in the process and that made me scream in pain.

"I don't want to hurt you!" Eddie shouted. "Just stop hurting yourself, stop fighting, and stop screaming, for the God's sake!"

That made me stop. He sighed in relief and carried me out of the car, scooping me into his arms.

But something was wrong with me. It wasn't the fact that my body went limp in his arms, that I couldn't scream anymore, that I couldn't do anything anymore. It was the fact that something in me broke because Eddie screamed at me. It was the fact that my ankle didn't hurt anymore, but my heart did.

But I didn't have a heart. How could it hurt, then?

Eddie noticed that there was something wrong with me, and he paused. We were both out of the car, and the blue sky looked beautiful behind him.

His face softened. He sighed. "I'm sorry, Sydney," he said, touching my cheeks gently. "I didn't mean to shout at you."

There was definitely something wrong with me, because I was crying. As he carried me, wiping the new tears that came to my eyes, I kept telling myself it was because my ankle hurt.

But it wasn't, and I knew it. Why couldn't I tear my gaze from his face? Why did I keep asking myself if I knew him?

And why, oh why, did I think that I really was safe in his arms?

He wasn't a Strigoi, that much was evident. His eyes were… beautiful, really. I convinced myself that he was my guardian, that he would prevent the Strigoi from hitting me, cutting me again.

That just made me cry harder. Eddie gently rocked me, touching my cheek with his hand, and I buried my face in his chest.

I couldn't resist the urge to look behind his shoulder – two creatures, looking like miniature dragons, were standing behind us, watching us with big eyes.

They were definitely demons. I gasped and closed my eyes, searching for comfort of Eddie's chest.

I had no idea for how long Eddie carried me. I had no idea what was going on around me, but the silence wasn't natural. I felt other people, I heard gasps. I was shuddering, thinking how all of these people wanted to hurt me.

But Eddie didn't. He was going to protect me. He promised.

Eddie stopped, opened a door and entered a dark room. I immediately started trembling, thinking it was the same as the room in which I was.

But then he turned the light on and I gasped.

The room was beautiful – like nothing I've ever seen. Perhaps the Strigoi thought I was worth of coming into the main nest, and perhaps they'd take care of me now, because I endured their tortures for so long?

And a small voice rose inside of me – perhaps there'd be no more pain? I willed the thought away, knowing it was ridiculous, and chanting my mantra: There is nothing beyond pain. Nothing.

Eddie put me down on the soft bed gently. The sheets were blue – similar to the sky I saw minutes ago. The whole room was blue, and it was looking very positive. It almost made me smile.

"I thought you'd like it, since you were so happy when you saw the sky," Eddie said and I looked up at him. Could he see gratefulness in my eyes? Could he see anything in them? Was there anything in them?

I realized I was crying again, and Eddie was pulling me into an embrace. "It's okay, Sydney," he said gently. "Nobody will hurt you ever again, I promise."

I shook my head, knowing shouldn't believe him, knowing I shouldn't trust his words. But it was so hard – he put me in this beautiful room, after all.

Eddie moved away after several seconds. "Follow me," he said and tilted his head to one side. He was pointing and moving towards a big, white door.

My eyes widened and I retreated to the far side of the bed, shaking my head. So they were going to torture me, after all. This was just to calm me down, and then they'd slice me again and again and again…

Eddie opened the door, but behind them wasn't a dark room. It was…

"The bathroom," Eddie said cheerfully. "I told you, you need a shower and clean clothes."

My eyes widened and before I could even comprehend what was going on, my bare feet were touching the floor and I was slowly starting to stand up.

I almost fell, because my feet were too weak to carry me – after all, I hadn't walked for a very long time. Strong arms caught me. "Okay, it maybe isn't a good idea," Eddie said as he slowly put me down on the bed again. It was evident that he was thinking hard, since his eyebrows were furrowed.

And then the door of the room opened and Eddie immediately shielded my body with his own. I peeked behind him, and I gasped.

The man that was standing in the doorway was as handsome as someone can possibly be. He was wearing an indigo shirt, and it was untucked from his dark pants. He was obviously very angry, or very excited – he was searching the room with his eyes frantically, his hands extended in front of him. His hair was dark and messy, almost covering his eyes. And his eyes, their color emerald, were too green to be true. I found myself unable to move my gaze away from them.

Eddie wasn't tense anymore – he relaxed, but he didn't move away. "Adrian," he said and I blinked again, realizing the name was somehow familiar.

"Where is she?" he almost screamed. Then his gaze met my eyes, and I moved away, into Eddie, into warmth and safety.

"I don't think it's a very good idea for you to see her now, Adrian," Eddie said calmly. I realized I was shuddering – I didn't like this man. He looked dangerous.

"It's not a very good idea? How come, Castile?" Adrian said angrily. My eyes widened. So it wasn't a hallucination, after all. Somehow, I knew Adrian, but I had no idea how.

"Rose told me there was something wrong with her, but she didn't elaborate," Adrian continued. "If she's hurt, if there's a part of her body missing…" he swallowed, as if it was hard for him to continue, "I can take it, Castile. And I'll heal her."

I started shuddering even worse after he said that. So he was a vampire, and he wanted to use magic on me. "Don't use that term," Eddie whispered. He continued in an even voice. "And you can't… cure what's missing from her, Adrian."

Adrian came even closer to us – I could feel it. "How so? Is it a…" he paused. "Is it a limb?"

"It's her mind," Eddie whispered. "She doesn't remember who she is, or any of us. She thinks all we want to do is hurt her, and somehow, I got her to trust me. You're just scaring her right now."

"But just let me see her," Adrian said in a low voice. "Perhaps, if she sees me, she'll remember…"

Eddie turned towards me. "Do you want to see him, Sydney? I swore to protect you. If you don't want to, you don't have to."

I immediately shook my head. I didn't care who this man was – he was a vampire, a monster, and I didn't want to talk to him. I didn't want to remember him, or see him, ever again.

"I'm sorry, Adrian," Eddie gently said as he turned around, shielding me from that creature, "she doesn't want to see you."

I heard Adrian take a deep breath and say, "I'll be back, Castile. You can't protect her forever."

So he did want to hurt me, after all. I didn't stop shivering when the room door closed or when Eddie touched my shoulders. "He's not dangerous, Sydney," he said, and I wondered if my name really was Sydney. If it was, I didn't remember. "He's just… connected to you in a very important way."

I furrowed my eyebrows, trying to understand what he was implying. He just smiled and said, "Don't worry. It'll come back. The important fact is that you're safe."

The rest of the day – my first day without pain – I spent eating unusual things, such as something Eddie called an apple and a sandwich. He also gave me something yellow, telling me it was an orange juice, but I refused, because it was obvious there was some drug in it.

Eddie also managed to get me to walk, and it was very hard, but I somehow managed it. He then told me how to use the shower and when I realized I was going to shower with hot water, I started crying again. It was something I haven't used since… well, forever.

After I showered and put on some new clothes – that actually weren't bloody, and consisted of a beige T-shirt and very long, too long black trousers, I came to a halt at the bathroom door, because Eddie was talking with someone.

"She'll be okay, Jill," he said firmly. "She's like a child to a certain point, but it'll come back to her. Adrian just managed to scare her by coming here too soon. Let her adapt and see that we don't want to hurt her first, and when she finally feels safe, perhaps it'll all come back."

A very high-pitched voice answered him. "Adrian is going crazy, Eddie. She is back after four years, and she doesn't even remember him? And instead of trusting him, she decides to trust you? Of course he is hurt! He wants to be with her, to take care of her, and he can't because she's afraid of him!" What did she mean by "take care of her?" Why would that monster want to take care of me? Did he want to bite me, or torture me?

"He is a Moroi, Jill," Eddie calmly said. "When I mentioned healing, she got some kind of attack. When she saw Adrian, she started shuddering like crazy. What am I supposed to do – let her be alone with him? She hit me, Jill. She hit me. She'd probably try to kill him."

I couldn't listen to him anymore. I needed many things – I needed the endorphins, I needed the rush. I was feeling empty without it. I was going to get that vampire to bite me, no matter what. Strigoi bit me for four years, and I wasn't going to stop now.

Second, I needed pain. Lots of it, to dull what was going on around me.

Thankfully, Eddie didn't notice me take his stake from the nightstand. He was too caught up with talking with Jill – whoever she was.

I retreated into the bathroom and sat on the floor. I was wearing a T-shirt, so inciting pain on myself wasn't going to be too hard. The wounds were still fresh, and there were lots of them – it'd be easy to open them up.

Somewhere, something in my mind was telling me pain wasn't good, but I needed it. Being locked up for four years made you addicted to some things.

I decided to go for a very deep cut on my forearm. The first wave didn't hurt – it was almost a relief to finally feel it.

But as I dug the stake deeper and deeper, I started hearing screams in the distance, and I realized they were mine.

I was lifted from the floor, too far gone to notice what was going on around me, but I saw blood on my shirt.

I smiled to myself. There wasn't such thing as clean clothes. There was only blood, everywhere.

(╯°□°）╯︵ ┻━┻


End file.
